


Desperate Measures

by ladywinchester1967



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Crack Fic, Dean Winchester - Freeform, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Sam Winchetser - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 05:49:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16927623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladywinchester1967/pseuds/ladywinchester1967
Summary: Characters: Michael!Dean, Sam Winchester, Female Character, Scout (dog), Baby.Warnings: Language, implied smut, moderate damage to Baby, CRACK FIC.A/N: This is my first crack fic, based on this post enjoy!!! Unbeta’d, all mistakes are mine





	Desperate Measures

“This has to be the worst idea you’ve ever had.” Sam said as he looked at her. In one hand, she had a Subway bag and a brown bag from McDonald’s. In the other, she had a leash. At the end of the leash was probably the biggest, furriest dog he’d ever laid eyes on. “What the hell is that anyway? A dire wolf?” Sam asked, nodding at the dog. He had all white fur, amber eyes and his tail was wagging like crazy.

“He’s a Lab and Husky mix and his name is Scout, be kind.” She told him as he laughed “Look, we’ve tried everything else to get Dean to eject Michael except this.”

Sam looked apprehensive

“Don’t get me wrong,” he said “I’m all for getting Michael out of Dean’s body but isn’t this a little extreme?”

“Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures,” she told him “plus if I waited another day, my Mom was gonna take Scout to the groomer to get him trimmed for the summer.”

“Okay,” Sam said uneasily “but this is your funeral in case this works.”

“And you owe me twenty dollars.” She said and looked down at Scout “Ready to go for a ride big boy?!” She asked in an excited tone. The dog ran in circles and whined excitedly. “C’mon then, let’s get in the car!”

 

Sam watched from around the corner as Michael, possessing Dean’s body, rounded the corner.

“I know you’re here Sam,” he heard Michael say “just come on out so I can kick your ass fair and square.”

Sam chuckled

“It’s not me you should be worried about!” Sam called

“And who SHOULD I be worried about?” Michael asked.

With a roar like a panther, the Impala’s engine revved and all eighteen feet of it came squealing around the corner and into the parking lot. Michael looked up and saw her in the driver’s seat and what looked like a wolf in the backseat. She whipped the car around so that the driver’s side was facing Michael walking around in Dean’s meat suit.

Michael gave her a cocky grin.

“You really think this has any effect on me?” He asked “I always did love hearing that engine roar.”

“Yeah?” She asked “but DEAN never likes hearing this!” She yelled.

She slammed both feet into the gas and brake at the same time, making the back tires squeal like stuck pigs, the smell of burning rubber invading all of their noses. She let up as Dean’s body began to twitch and she kicked it up a notch as she slammed the car into park.

“Hey Dean!” She yelled “look what I have!!” And held up the Subway bag “It’s your favorite! Turkey with EXTRA lettuce and EXTRA mustard!” She ripped open the wrapper and took an obnoxious bite out of the sandwich, mustard seeping out of the bread and dribbling on to her pants and the leather seats. She chewed like a heathen, bits of bread, half chewed greenery and turkey falling out of her mouth. She swallowed and grabbed the McDonald’s bag.

“Look!!! French fries!” She yelled, ripping the bag open. By this point, the fries had fallen out of the container and into the bag. With the bag bursting open, French fries went every where. Scout climbed over into the front seat to happily eat the fallen fries, his muddy paws leaving tracks all over the pristine leather seats.

She shoved French fries in her mouth and yelled

“There are fries and mustard all over your seats Dean!!”

Dean’s body violently began to shake the more he saw, all he could see from this point was a giant, furry behind in the air; slobber, mud and fur flying everywhere as she kept shoving fries into her mouth.

“Scout’s shedding his winter coat! Think about ALL THAT DOG HAIR in the Impala!” She yelled. She popped the car into gear again and squealed the tires as Dean fell to his knees, screaming loudly. She stopped the car as Scout lapped up the last of the French fries and Dean reared back, his eyes and mouth glowing blue. He stilled for a few seconds while she slammed the car into park and cut it off. Dean was heaving as his green eyes ferociously met hers.

“WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT DOGS IN MY BABY?!” Dean roared as a grin crossed her face.

 

A short while later, Dean was obsessing over every single hair and bit of food that littered the inside of his precious car while she and Sam stood to the side. Sam was in shock as he patted Scout behind the ears.

“I can’t,” he said “I can’t believe that actually worked.”

“AND YOU’RE GONNA CLEAN EVERY LAST DOG HAIR OUT OF THIS CARPET WITH A FINE TOOTH COMB!” Dean yelled

“Fee?” She said, as she kept munching on her French fries “fis fan fas rock folid from the fart.”

“Sorry, I don’t speak “full mouth” try that again.” Sam sassed as she flicked him off

“THIS MUD BETTER NOT STAIN THE STITCHING ON MY LEATHER SEATS!” Dean screamed.

“See?” She said when she swallowed “This plan was rock solid from the start.”

 

That night, she drove the Impala back to the Men of Letter’s bunker and thoroughly scrubbed the inside and outside, making sure to get every single bit of food, mud and animal fur out of the interior. She was annoyed that it took so long, but it had been worth it. That douche bag with wings had been ejected from her boyfriend’s body, so a little blood, sweat and tears was fine with her.

Dean came in and inspected her work, which passed his test. After a shower, she returned Scout to her parents, who were happy to have him back. When she returned to the bunker, she found everyone had gone to bed, except Dean. He was waiting for her in the library, a drink in his hand.

“I’m surprised you’re not in bed.” She told him

He looked up at her, a half grin on his face.

“I’m not sure if I should be worshiping the ground you walk on,” he said “or spanking the ever loving hell out of you for dirtying up the inside of my Baby with food and dog hair.”

She grinned as she walked closer to him as he handed her a glass.

“Like I told Sam, desperate times call for desperate measures.” She said as she took the glass from him “I had to get you where it was gonna hurt.”

“Oh, you hurt me all right.” He said as he stood and wrapped her into a hug. For the first time in months, she was able to wrap her arms around him, tenderly holding him. He squeezed her hard and said “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She told him

He pulled back and kissed her, the ache in his chest seeming to ebb away with that kiss. When it ended he said

“I’m still mad that you burned out the back tires on my Baby and polluted her with a dog in the back seat.”

“Relax,” She told him “I have new tires on order. They’ll be at the shop in the morning, all I have to do is pick them up.”

“That still doesn’t excuse you hurting her like that,” he said “now I AM gonna spank the hell out of you. With a belt.”

She grinned

“Yeah, yeah,” she said “you talk a big game, but put up or shut up handsome.”

He cupped her face in his hands

“Oh sweetheart,” he said with a mischievous grin “you have NO IDEA what you got yourself into.”


End file.
